Heaven might be boring

All right, im slightly intoxicated, very hyper and all alone-a horrible combination. But this predicament has spawned a strange question in my brain; is there pain in heaven? The reason I wonder this is because I think the knowledge of pain separates a lot of people. A simple explanation for this is- the risk takers and the non-risk takers. My self for instance, I ride dirt bikes, jump off cliffs, sky dive, get tattoos and generally just do stupid shit, risking a lot of pain for the fun of it. But it does go a little deeper than that-meaning than I believe that people who face their fear and do “crazy” stuff, have immaculate confidence. Meanwhile, the people on the sidelines consumed by their fears just watch and wish they could let go for once. Not only does it feel great, but facing and conquering your fears is one of the most highly underestimated form of self progression.

So, back to the main question. I guess I have this image of heaven in my head as a place where you could just do whatever you want, without hurting someone else of course….come on, its heaven! If heaven is just one big happy playground where everyone is awesome at everything, I guess that would mean that there is no risk in heaven, therefore nothing to conquer. Therefore no progression because everyone can do what you do and if not, then who cares if you crash or fail because there is no pain and you‘re all ready dead-what fun is that? Like a videogame you can beat every time, it gets old after a while and heaven is eternity brotha! That’s a long stay….

So lets say there IS all of that, therefore pain and fear exist, and therefore the great feeling of conquering it does too. Would that mean that you could be called a “wuss” in heaven? Like a non-risk taker can live a good honest life, die and go to heaven and because of the law of risk, think to himself “damn, that still scares me, im still a wuss”. That just doesn’t seem fair does it?. So for us risk takers, pain is very real in heaven, then that would have to mean the recovery process would have to be pretty much the same as it is on earth. Things like casts, stitches, crutches, physical therapy and oh yes, pain killers-HEAVENLY PAIN KILLERS!! No cheap Canadian knockoffs ya know, cause theres got to be socialized medicine in heaven. So lets examine this shall we? Almost everyone I know enjoys the euphoria that pain killers give you. Some people love it so much they get addicted and it ruins their lives. So would this mean that heavenly painkillers are not addictive? Well lets say you get to heaven, hurt your self and you’re stoked that you get some heavenly pain killers because you remembered who they used to make you feel. And so your heavenly pharmacist tells you, get well soon and by the way, you cant get addicted to these so enjoy your self! I think the risk factor comes into play again, because its usually the risk of addiction that deters people from taking pain killers for an extended period of time right? So, lets say first there is risk of pain but no risk of addiction to the pills you get. I don’t think people have jobs or responsibilities in heaven, so could you just rock out on pain killers all day without risk of O.D or addiction? I guess there’s a possibility that that natural urge to overindulge in most of us goes away when we go to heaven, but lets venture in the other direction for a second. O.K, you’re in pain, heavenly pain killers relieve that pain and make you feel all ewwy gooie inside as well. But now, lets say there IS the risk of addiction. That would mean all of the things that come along with addiction would exist in heaven. Crimes like robbery and burglary--in heaven? With crime comes dangerous neighborhoods right? In heaven? So with all these messed up people running around I guess God would have to instate a recovery program right? You would have to have NA group sessions and professional councilors right? What school would you have to go to, to become qualified to be a drug councilor in heaven? Or what if you were beyond help but didn’t do something badly enough you needed to go to hell, that would mean jail right? Who goes to jail in heaven? All right, this is out of control now, this cant exist in heaven! “I didn’t be a good person all of my life to come up here and have to avoid bad neighborhoods and worry about my house getting broken into!” is what you would probably say when you were getting your in-brief at the pearly gates. You are right, but if none of these elements exist, remember how we got here? If none of that exists in heaven, its quite possible that risk does not exist either. Therefore no pain, no progression, no next level, no need to try new stuff, no such thing as winning. Just a bunch of people, really great at everything.

Man, I really hope there is no such thing as being bored in heaven

O.k, I just re-read this the next morning and came to realize that some people might think this is blasphemy…me doing all this thinking by my self and what not. Well, if everything you have been taught make you cringe at this blog, oh well. Its not my fault you were raised not to think.

Yes I believe in God but not in the “If you write a funny blog questioning heaven you will burn for eternity!!” type of God. This whole thing was meant to be funny, so if a semi-logical joke scares you, I feel sorry for you. For everyone else who laughed and gave a little thought to this blog-good on you, ill see you in hell.